Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Want To Finish Well

Because I write some of my blog posts ahead of time and schedule them to publish, you had no idea that I was driving up to Richmond, VA today to visit Medical College of Virginia/Virginia Commonwealth University to meet with a transplant team. 

You were not aware that I was being poked and prodded and evaluated to see if I'm healthy enough for a kidney transplant soon. 

You couldn't see the tears in my eyes as my hubby went to the lab to have 15 vials of blood drawn to see if he is potential donor for me.

I didn't want to share that with you because. . . well, I don't know why.  Because it's personal?  Because it's not pretty, and organized, and crafty.  It's not gardening, or cooking, or cleaning. 

But then, tonight, as I sat down and thought of all that occurred today, I realized that if I can show you my silverware drawer and my laundry detergent then I can certainly share something as real as my pain. 

Many of you have been so gracious and kind to me - a total stranger - and I know you have been praying for my health.  I've received so many sweet comments and emails from you and I want you to know that I really appreciate it. 

So, here's what happened today.  I had an EKG done, lots of blood work, a chest x-ray, and a TB test.  I still need an MRI and an ultrasound.  I answered tons of questions about my medical history and my family history.(Polycystic Kidney Disease in inherited)  I met several doctors and let them listen to my chest, back, and abdomen with a cold stethoscope.  I held my breath as they poked my painful right kidney to see if they could feel it.    I also found out that I'll need to have my gallbladder out before the transplant so it won't rear it's ugly head later.   I think the worst part was the EKG because I'm very ticklish and for some reason the leads they used were very cold and I couldn't stop giggling - talk about embarrassing!

Hubs and I spent an hour with a care coordinator going over the details of  the process.  The most uncomfortable part is the donation part.  You see. . . someone has to give up a body part for me to get healthy.  That just doesn't float my boat.  I like to be the one giving - not taking.  It's one thing to give blood but it's a completely different scenario to give an organ.  The coordinator helped us put things in perspective and we'll start getting the word out for a live donor soon.  (Come to find out, Hubs is not the best donor for me because he has high blood pressure). 

As we were driving to the Center this morning at 6:00 a.m., Hubs looked at me and said  "Are you nervous?".  I thought for a minute before giving an answer.  Yes, I was nervous.  But, not for the reasons you would think.  I was nervous because I knew that God had given me this assignment to do.  I knew He had assigned me to be a light to every person I met today.  I spent time with 11 different people today in one-on-one conversations.  I had an opportunity to show how God has blessed me and given me grace and mercy to handle whatever comes along.  I was nervous because I didn't want to disappoint my Lord.  I wanted to finish today well. 

If you're still reading, thanks so much for hanging on to the end of this lengthy post.  I'm sorry I don't have any photos to share.  I wasn't wearing a very flattering  gown!

16 comments:

  1. Kelly, I haven't been reading your blog long enough to know that you are going through this but I can say that if you can show us your silverware, your laundry detergent AND your pain with such grace then you are finishing very, very well. To think about the lives you were going to touch today, before thinking of yourself, stopped me in my tracks. I'm sort of speechless at the moment, perhaps because your perspective has taken me by surprise. Sometimes I get caught up in the 'big' things that I ask for God's help with that I forget about the little things.

    I find it very difficult to write anything too personal on my blog, so I'm doubly grateful that you did today. Thank you.

    ~Andrea~

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  2. On my goodness. I had no idea. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. I pray that all goes well for you. You have a beautiful attitude and I know that will work to your advantage. Take care.

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  3. I just became a follower moments ago. I found your blog via your daughter's Fabebook link. She put it up there. I am Melissa's friend from childhood--Heather Boyd (then Boland) Please know that I'll be praying for you.

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  4. Sending you GREAT BIG HUGGGGGS! You are a true woman of grace! Good things are coming your way, as they always have....Remember all your blessings in life and the people you have touched through your grace....
    Okay....just another BIG HUGGGGGG!

    Sue

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  5. Oh wow - I'm so glad you shared! I hope they find someone soon for you and you are still on my prayer list!! <3

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  6. You are an amazing woman Kelly Miller. I will gladly test to see if I can be a donor for you. When think of the Proverbs 31 woman, I think of you.
    You are in my prayers.
    Love you,
    Cathy

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  7. I haven't been reading long enough to know this, either. Certainly will be praying for you!

    I can imagine that you were a blessing to those you came in contact with at MCV.

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  8. I know that you will finish well - there is no doubt in my mind! I see it everyday and it is an inspiration to me to be a better wife and a stronger woman of God!

    I am waiting to find out what we have to do to get tested or on the list! Does high blood pressure really rule someone out? Chris has that problem, too.
    Sheri

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  9. I will be praying for you. I understand what you're going through. Stay strong. God bless you. Wendy

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  10. This is my first visit to your blog. Just wanted to say that I really appreciate your approach to your 'medical' day. I think bringing light to the people you interact with is a very admirable and worthwhile goal. It seems like it could be a 'pay it forward' moment with the kindness spiraling upward in a positive direction rather than the opposite. You probably brightened the days of the eleven people you touched that day. Your positive attitude will be a life-saver! Warm wishes! Melanie

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  11. Sheri,
    The doctors explained that a donor with high blood pressure would be at risk during surgery. It's not a huge problem but should be considered. I wouldn't want anyone to be at risk because of me.

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  12. I would say you finished very well. I have to admit, I have been a lot more concerned with my own fears thru my medical issues than with glorifying God and witnessing to those around me. You are an inspiration. I will continue to pray for God's abundant grace in your life through every step of this process.

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  13. Thank you so much for your bravery. Today is actually the very 1st day I've ever read your blog --- I had googled images for something, and the one I liked was from your blog. I then found your great frozen watermelon recipe and then found your banana bread recipe... and then hit home to see what was more recently posted.
    I wish you the very best with your health, mind, kidney and peace of mind. I have "favorited" your site, and will be keeping up with you. Thank you agin.

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  14. Oh yes, read straight thru to the end and didn't miss a word.

    You are very brave to share and I am so glad you did. That is how we will continue to know what to pray for. You have to ask. I know that is hard to do when you are a true 'giver'. Being a giver is a blessing to others. But there are loads of people out there like you that also want to give. Let them.

    You are a dynamic person and I am praying for you. Please do continue to keep us aware of the things you need.

    All my heart and hugs to you!

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  15. Kelly, thank you for being willing to share yourself with us this way. Through the time I've read your blog, your heartfelt sincerity comes through in every post.

    Getting to know what you were going through that day, and a reminder of what you are going through every day because of your medical condition, was a very personal thing to share. If we can cheer you on for each repurposing post, congratulate you for a reorganization success and give thanks for a wonderful recipe you've shared, then we most certainly want to be here for you when you want to invite us in for the really personal stuff.

    Keep taking care of you while you take care of those around you as well.

    ~ Suzanne

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  16. Kelly, thank you for sharing your day. You are such an inspiration to me! Also, the wedding was so beautiful. I enjoyed the beautiful pictures and all your posts. Again, you are an inspiration! Love, Lottie

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